Ok ladies.... Once again my thoughts are taking me down a long and winding trail and I feel like I have fallen into a rabbit hole, again, like Alice in Wonderland. I'm not sure where I will end up so I have to just free fall. Here we go....This morning I heard a sermon that sparked this train of thought. It was about how the whole basis of our walk with God is based on the foundation of faith.
In other words, it is like I have been saying though out these posts of mine lately.... believe... just believe. We need to believe that we are the righteousness of Christ no matter what. We are righteous, through Him, even when we are missing the mark..... It is this belief that will leave the door to our hearts open for Him to come in and do the changing in us.
The church as we know it normally teaches us that we need to focus on our behavior and change it. This brings about condemnation which, I believe, disrupts the ability of us to hear from God. I've been saying for quite a while, and I heard it today, it is not necessarily God punishing us for our sin when consequences arise. The consequences come as a natural result of our choices.
The exciting part about this is though, through your WORST behavior, God does not look at you any differently. He does not love you any less. I'm going to go so far as to say that I believe He will even continue to bless you though it all because His favor does not come as a result of your actions. You are still the righteousness of Christ no matter what you do, if you are still believing that.
Still, I then began to see that though God continues to bless me, He cannot fully bless me with things that I do not yet have the responsibility to handle. He longs to bless me more fully yet knows that it could harm me or others if I am not prepared.
I'm not talking about being perfect. However, I am sure that there are foundations that I should have in place in certain areas, the ones most essential to handling this responsibility, before I am ready to take on that blessing. I believe that blessings, whether they are material, relationships or spiritual, are only blessings if you know haw to steward them. Otherwise they can become just another mess in your life.
Another thought comes to me at this moment. I have been asking God for a long time to show me what "An Ishmael" is. What hits me is that it is taking something on your own instead of waiting on God.
For example, I am someone who would love to be in a relationship with a man, and I could go out and find one on my own. However, I no longer want one unless I know it is the man God brings to me... unless it is HIS gift to me. And I have to trust that He is not bringing that man to me yet for a reason.
It could be that He knows I am still healing and I would not be able to handle the responsibility yet. I am still pretty insecure. It could also be that He has other things He would like me to apply my focus to, at this time in my life. Maybe both reasons. Maybe if he has a guy for me, that guy isn't yet ready. Who knows...
Regardless, I'm finally feeling a peace in that area. A letting go. At least for today.... again...: D
