I have inherited an old house from my mother and have been slowly attempting to transform it myself. You have to realize that I don't have much money and very little knowledge of how to re-do a home. I arm myself with spray paint and Pinterest.... Well, I do a titch more than that, but seriously.... I do it myself, the easiest and cheapest way I can find.
I have been sanding my old wooden kitchen counters, hoping to restore them to some kind of former glory. One reason I am doing this is because I love saving the original things as often as possible. Another is because it's cheap!
Yesterday I attempted to stain a small portion of the counter just to see what happened. Well, after all my hours of sanding it is obvious that I was NOT successful in removing most of the original protective coating. The stain was only being absorbed in random areas, here and there. I tried several different things, then finally just slathered a coat of stain over that whole section of counter and let it sit all night. It's still sitting there.. The result? A distinct, unique, rich, dark blend of old and new. I love it! Now if it will just dry completely.... I think that will take at least a few days but if it works, WOW!
The funny thing is, everyone has been telling me to just get a whole new counter. As I stand here looking at the thing, I DO see the shadows of the imperfections left by it's past life. The thing is... I LOVE that! The first thought that came to me was "You are just masking the crap, while not really restoring it to it's former glory." The second thought was "These scars are beautiful." You see, they add character and depth, and inspire one to wonder about it's past. That's what happens to us.
Most of us have been badly wounded and scarred in life, and would love to believe that we can be fully healed and restored to our original former glory. One without flaws, scars, and stretch marks. However, there will always be remnants of scars left, no matter how hard we work to obliterate them. But you see, it's those very scars that tells of the life you've lived and survived. It reveals the story of your mistakes, trials, and triumphs. Why would we want to obliterate our story? Yes, many are horrendous, vile, and beastly. We have done things, or had things done to us, that are dark and shameful. But they are a part of your story, no matter how much you wish they weren't. The amazing thing is that you lived through these things, and they were used to create the depth and richness of a survivor and over-comer.
You could let these things define you, but instead you choose to use them to better your life and the the lives of others. The amazing qualities that were brought out in you, can be used to help someone else through their dark times.
Ya know, if this stain on my counters dries completely, I will cover it with a hard, beautiful veneer. But that veneer will not represent some hard, brittle, hostile shell to protect that I've erected to hide those scars. Instead, it will represent and reflect the beauty, strength, and survival of these amazing counters. It will enhance their scars and put them on refined, beautiful, tasteful display for my friends and family to see, and to benefit from.
Don't let anyone tell you that your scars are ugly and shameful. They are proof of your strength, resilience, and courage. The experiences that caused them helped to create the unique, phenomenal, one-of-a-kind gift that you are to this world. Go ahead. Heal and become at peace with those things that happened to you in your past. However, don't be ashamed or afraid when you run the fingers of your memory over them and find the residual flaws left behind. Those memories are your legacy to help others find the path to their own peace and renewal. This is the way that time turns beauty into ashes...
