I Can See Clearly Now, The Rain is Gone.... Well, for the moment....

“Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace."  Matthew 6:6 The Message Version

I read several chapters in Thesselonians today;  I did not take the time to chew on each word, but instead, read it like a book... reading straight thru.  I heard this suggestion recently by a speaker on Wayne Jacobsen's podcast.  I am a person who has been, for the past several years, only given to reading the Bible in fits and spurts.  It does not hold my attention and I am put off by it because I have been reading it with an eye that seems to latch on to rules, rules, rules and how I am failing.

I have been taking a break from my church and attending another, for the last three weeks.  I've noticed in the past week or so that I am drawn to reading the Bible, this time with an eye to seeing it as a story and an unfolding of God's personality, not as a rule book.

I believe that there is power in the word.  If I read the Bible, for now, as a story, then God's spirit will give it life and breath.  Today while reading, it was almost like I caught a glimpse thru the clouds of something; Of a truth that I have heard preached but was never able to grasp.

It was, for the first time for me, an ability to see what it means to focus on God, instead of on the things of this world.  I have always had a large part of my focus on finding "true love".  The most recent object of my affection has been a guy that seems to truly have a heart for God, but there has always been a..... blurriness (?), a sense of.... confusion.... where he is concerned. 

My point is that my focus is too much on him.  In drawing away from things that are familiar, to give myself time to get past this and maybe hear direction from God, I have been questioning myself so much.  But today... seeing that glimpse of what it might look like to focus on God without the distraction of a guy, was rather appealing.

Hmmmm..... I hope that I continue to get insight as to what it means to have God as my focus and not something or someone else.  Yesterday in church the pastor said "If you give into temptation, if you return to old sins after coming to Christ, what you are doing is taking Christ off the throne and putting that sin on the throne."  In other words, he was saying that we are making that sin an idol.

I have been asking God, over the last year or so, exactly what IS idolatry.  I know it from a head knowledge, and I feel resistance to even considering I might have idols in my life.  However, yesterday it clicked for me.  Finding earthly love with a man could be an idol.... and food.  It's not that these things are not good, but when it becomes something that consumes our thoughts and lives to where we feel frustration, confusion and depression as a result of these things, maybe it's time to ask God to walk thru this with us and show us the way out of the bondage.  That doesn't mean that He will ask us to throw away everything good in our lives like so many "diets" do.  He's just asking us to use wisdom and moderation.

How many of you have fallen in love, only to become someone who is consumed with the thought of that person; consumed to the point where you feel inadequate, frustrated and so NOT at peace?  If our focus is first on God, and we find our value in Him, then we will take soooo much pressure off of ourselves and our guy.  Won't that right there be a foundation for a stronger, healthier relationship?

I've seen women write about how God asked them to take just one year off from dating and how it totally changed them and their relationship with God.  It changed them to the point where they are perfectly content to not have a man in their life.  Someone else said  when you enter into marriage, some of God's grace is removed from your life so that you two can work thru things together.  However, another said she asked God if He would become more distant if she married.  His answer to her was that He would be just as close as she and her husband would allow Him to be.  That is a comforting thought...

Now, I don't know if God is asking me to take a year off of thinking about guys.  If He is, then I must have my fingers in my spiritual ears because I don't hear it... Hahaha!  Fact is, I haven't met anyone that I am interested in dating, except that one guy, and I discovered that he is unavailable.  Maybe I don't need to hear God concerning this dating.... Maybe He, like a loving, concerned parent, is leaning up against that door, temporarily keeping it shoved closed for my protection AND my future guy's protection!

For so many years I have heard that God wants us to reach the point where we crave Him over any other guy, to the point where we don't even feel the WANT for an earthly guy.  I just never could seem to "get it". 

As long as I can remember, there has always been some man that is in my mind and heart.  Remember those teenage day dreams of your latest famous heart throb?! Oh how I loved Elvis Presley.... Rob Lowe.... Matt Dillon.... The Bee Gee's... sigh.... Lately tho, I have felt moments of what it is like to not have a man in my romantic thoughts.  At times, it feels a little empty because I have never had that void.  However, THEN is when I turn my focus to God and allow Him to fill that space.  Then the peace and contentment flow in.  Despite my former doubts, I think I'm gonna like this part of the journey......


"Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that." Ephesians 5:2 The Message

I don't know about you but, in all relationships, I am tired of getting frustrated and discontent.  It always happens.  Someone is not treating me right; they aren't filling my expectations; they get on my nerves from time to time and THEY need to change.... blah blah BLAH!  I'm tired of being that way.  It's time for a change...  it's time for a shift in focus... a shift in focus from doing things my way and studying God's ways. 

I also have to be careful that my giving does not ultimately stem from a secret desire to get.  As in all things, I cannot do this in myself.  I have been fasting and praying lately, asking God to heal my heart, give me direction, and guide my steps.  I don't give just to make someone notice me, think better of me, etc.  That is not how God gives.  Mostly what He does is love us.  He doesn't love in order to get but give everything of Himself....  I want to learn to love like that... 

"It's not what's happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become.  Rather, it's your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you're going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny." Anthony Robbins


                            
"So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it."  Phillipians 3:15

We All Fall Down

“Your daughter is a child in need of a parent. She needs to be taught. And some of your best teaching opportunities will come when she puts her sin nature on display. Don’t fear or fret or feel like this is some sort of failure on your part. Her outside demonstrations are an internal indication of her need for guidance. So guide her. Love her...” Excerpt from devotional by Lysa Terkeurst at Proverbs 31 Ministries

Lysa was writing about a part of her journey in discovering her identity as a mom.  Her angelic daughter had turned into a little... uh.... not so angel in public.  However, as soon as I read these words I had a totally different thought. 

My thought in reading this was immediately "That is how God see's life with us...."  Hmmm....  We worry so much about "getting it right."  We fret over making a mistake or failing.  Or at least that is the pit that I have lived in for the past 9 years. 

While praying a few years ago, I seemed to sense God was saying "Take a risk..."  What??  That couldn't be God!  Then I started getting little confirmations:  While reading I would run across things about taking a risk, and my counselor even started saying "You need to start making some mistakes; You need to try and fail."  He actually said he would cheer big if I came to him with a story of a HUGE failure!  So I started taking risks, and yes I failed, sometimes BIG!  And yes, usually it hurt, sometimes BIG!  Revelation: I don't enjoy failing!

As I'm typing this, what comes to me is that I don't necessarily need to see those things as failures.  They were learning lessons that gave God the opportunity to teach me.  You see, instead of doing something wrong, I think I was really doing something right.  These failings were not deliberate sin: that's not what I am saying.  In all things I pray before I step out, and I continue praying, asking Him to block my way if it is not of him.  Ummmm...... sometimes I keep on going, even when a door does not appear to be opening in the way that could be indicating that this is God doing it.  However, I am still learning to try to recognize and identify when it is God.  I am learning all thru the process because I continually am asking Him "Where are you in this God?  How do I follow you in this situation? Why is this so hard?  This seems too easy? Give me wisdom, etc."...

Oh Wow!  As I was finishing the paragraph above, this verse came to mind:
Proverbs 3:6 "In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. New King James version

So then I had to look it up in other versions.  I loved The Message Version:

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all.  Message version

I had never really gotten it before.  I knew, logically, what it meant, but I didn't get it with my heart, until just this minute.  I've heard a lot of teaching on how this walk with God is based on trust and that you have to stop trying to figure out things. 

 Hmmm.... so does that mean you just quit thinking altogether?!  I don't know how to do that.  I've also heard "just be obedient", "just do what He tells you to", etc.  I've often mused "Okaaaaay... but what if I'm not hearing Him tell me to do anything, no matter how hard I pray...?"  THAT is where the opening quote from this blog entry comes into play for me.

I can see God saying "Some of My best teaching opportunities will come when Sheila puts her sin nature on display."   

I believe when we step out in faith.... in other words when we take risks..... these are some of his best teaching opportunities.  These are experiences God uses to teach us how to hear from Him.  I have started to learn how to take an internal pause (much like a hunting dog suddenly stopping and being on point!) to try to sense anything down in my spirit.  

In my earlier days, due to uncertainty and fear of doing the wrong thing, I just felt a lot of unease in my spirit about everything, so I really couldn't get a feel for anything.  Now, through experience, I am starting to get a teensy more comfortable with pausing, then moving forward if I don't feel a need to hesitate. Also, if I feel the need to do something just because I "should", I often take more time to ponder over it instead of just jumping right in to do it.


We as Christians often come to believe that it is our duty to fill every need in front of us.... WRONG!  I think that the mere fact that we are Christians who really have a heart for God, who really want to do the right thing, is a great starting point.  

I have stopped, for the most part, doing things because I should.  I, of course, pray over the situation and since I don't normally hear God saying "Yes or No", if I really don't want to do it, I don't.  BUT I usually try to direct them to someone who can, if possible.  Over time, as I am being freed of the shackles of obligation, of thinking I need to fix it all, then I feel that I am able to sense God a little better in what He might want me to do. 

I have heard and agree that  "God's biggest desire is for us to first and foremost to have a relationship with HIM.  THAT is our purpose."  Instead of worrying what God's will is for us, what our purpose is, am I where He wants me be.", just rest assured.... His will, His purpose, the place we should be, is forming a relationship with Him.  

It is out of that relationship with Him, not doing things for Him, that we start to grow.  Once we start to mature in knowing who He is, in sensing what He is putting on our hearts, THEN we will start to see fruit flowing out of our lives.  THEN we will start to see how He is allowing us to come alongside Him and work WITH Him in other's lives.  So let's start waking up each morning with excited anticipation of seeing our bridegroom and asking Him "Show me how you love me today, my beloved.... Show me how to walk in that love...."
                                     


You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it’s useless. Cultivate God-confidence. 1 Corinthians 10:12 The Message Version