It IS About You....

"It's not about you...."  Oh razzberries!   I'm here to say "You know what?  It IS about you!"

Maybe I'm beating a dead horse here but I felt the need to continue where I left off in my last post.

Until you know who you are... what your purpose is... to love you for you.... imperfections and all....you will not fully know how to love others.

How many of you have searched in vain to "figure out" what your purpose it, only to remain frustrated and clueless to this day?  Do you want to know the secret??!

Sorry to disappoint, but I have no hard and fast rules, principles or formulas for you to follow.  As a matter of fact, I discourage those things.

Instead of bringing freedom, rigidly followed principles and formulas can actually cause you to put your situation in a box and to become unimaginative in your thinking.  You may be unable to see other options when there are absolutely limitless possibilities!

“I think you will agree that life's plans are not always tied up in neat little packages. Occasionally we find ourselves at unexpected crossroads with more than one opportunity from which to choose." - Linda Lee Chaikin, Tomorrow's Treasure   

That said, on this blog I will often share with you moments that were turning points for me.  One of those moments, a moment that offered freedom, was when I was given permission to make mistakes while walking that road to discover my purpose.  Have I found it yet?  It feels like I may have, but only time will tell.

How will you find yours?  I can't tell you.  It's a unique, one of a kind, exciting adventure that only you can explore. 

Quit fixating on the outcome.  Delight in your journey instead of focusing so hard on your destination.  Allow things to unravel at their own pace and trust all you are learning will only add to your story. 

I began to search myself for what I love to do... what my heart yearned to do...  I bounced around from idea to idea.  As I said in my  last post, I thought I was to look "out there" and focus on helping others, instead of looking "inside me" and focus on what fulfilled me.

I'm blessed to be part of a small group that focuses on encouraging each other, and of increasing our knowledge of who we and each other are.  It is from them that I received direction when I was asked "You are creative.   How can you use that creativity?"  More than one said they saw my writing as my passion.

Search yourself to discover what you love to do, but also ask friends what they see as your gift... your passion.

Along the way I discovered something.  I'm learning trust of myself and others.... trust that I'm making progress even when it doesn't look like it.  I'm discovering a strength and resilience in myself that I didn't know existed.  I'm beginning to admire my willingness to take leaps of faith even if I occasionally find myself dangling from a tightrope of unpredictability.

What I have discovered is, for me, when I write I am totally zoned out to all else.  I LOVE digging and delving into my creative side and being allowed to express my observations that are ready to bubble over at any given time.  Here they come! Ready or not!

It's a place where I need no one else but also a place where my passion, my purpose, can reach out and touch others.  It's focusing on doing what I love, it's focusing on me and my journey, and it can then be used to encourage others.

See how that works?  I focused on me... on taking the time to discover who I was... to love me.... and to find out what I love to do for me... write.  It's because I focused on me that I can then begin to allow that to flow into encouraging others.

So you see, it IS about you.  It IS about putting you first even though we are taught the exact opposite through out life.

I am not talking about selfishness here.  A way to be truly successful in love is to study the ones you care for.  Learn what makes them tick.  Learn what they want... what their dreams are.... what makes them feel satisfied, loved and complete.  Shouldn't we extend the same courtesy to ourselves first?

Give yourself and the people in your life an invaluable gift:  invest in the time to discover who you are, what you love, what feeds your passion... learn to love yourself.  Recognize what a unique gift you are to this world and to the people in it.

Are you not sure what you love... what your passion is?  Well, pick one.  Any one...  Make a choice and go for it.  Trust that God will guide your steps.  Even if you do not see yourself as a spiritual person, trust your inner instincts that say "mmm.... not feelin' it", or "this is the way, walk in it."

Most of all, don't take it so serious.  Relax, enjoy, have fun.... Don't consider any dead end a failure,... consider it learning... an investment in yourself and your future.  You can google "inventors that failed miserably before sucess" and find countless stories.  Here is one phenomenal story of rags to riches:

"Today he rakes in billions from merchandise, movies and theme parks around the world, but he had a bit of a rough start. He was fired by a newspaper editor because, "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas." After that, he started a number of businesses that didn't last too long and ended with bankruptcy and failure. He kept plugging along, however, and eventually found a recipe for success that worked."  Who was he?  Walt Disney....

What?!  Lacked imagination???  Let that encourage you!  Don't be afraid to fail... and fail.... and fail again.  As a matter of fact, I don't like the word "fail".  Instead I prefer to see it as a curve in the road that is guiding me away from what won't work and directing me closer to what does.

If you, like me, need someone to tell you "It's ok to spend time focusing on yourself", well, I'm giving you permission right now.  It's ok to invest in yourself.  As a matter of fact, it makes the world a better place when you do because it is then that it can become about others.

It's ok to love you for you.....

The Aroma of Freedom.....

 "I was realizing that True love grows out of a deep inner strength which comes from knowing who you are.

True love grows out of the certainty and confidence of knowing your purpose, your design. And from being alive inside..

The knowledge that I had a reason to “be” became more powerful than rejection…than the realization that someone was not right for me… than criticism…than hurt…than loss…

It set me free to live my life, even alone, because there was something more important than being in a relationship."Bernice McDonald

I love sharing bits of truth I run across with friends.  I hope it's ok that I consider you my friend and want to share things I read, hear, lean and discover about life and myself with you.

I am not a professional blogger, writer, teacher or encourager.  However,  I do enjoy doing those things.   What you read here comes from a heart that is learning.... that is becoming open and healed and eager to share my journey with you; one who hopes to hear about yours.

I feel as if my spirit is standing, arms spread wide, head thrown back, breathing in an intoxicating aroma that I recognize as freedom.....  Could that possibly be what that sweet fragrance is...?

There has been a major, all out attack on my beliefs.... on how I view my purpose.  I have been seeing my purpose as focusing on others "out there";  I was to be "out there" coming alongside the hurting .  

Yes, how I live out my purpose will benefit others but what feeds me?.....my spirit?  What brings me the most enjoyment?   I would have to say it is writing.

I feel a peace, a rightness, and a deep satisfaction when writing.  To borrow a corny phrase from the movie Jerry McGuire, "It completes me." 

 It doesn't matter whether I am journaling, blogging, writing an email or furiously scribbling an angry letter....  I love communicating this way.  In recognizing this,  I feel some.... some.... inner knowing that wasn't there before.  

Can I be honest here?  Confessing that makes me feel... well, silly.  I am the "Queen of Flights of Fancy", living at the corner of Scattered Thoughts Street and Utter Chaos Road.  Who am I to think I can lasso my stampeding herd of  hysterical logic and turn it into oh so perfectly penned prose?  (Whew! Say that fast three times!)

Will anything come of it?  Will anyone 'get it"?  Who knows.  That doesn't take away from the fact that I love it.

In conversation yesterday, when talking about my desire for a relationship, I explained that I did not NEED someone but I WANTED someone to share this journey of helping others... someone to hold my hand.  

The question was put to me "What brings you the most enjoyment?"  It's writing. "Do you see someone holding your hand while you're writing?"  

Uh...No.....  It's something I get lost in and I don't want anyone else there.  I don't need anyone else...."  Wha...? What did I just say?!

In saying that, it was like I could feel, and even SEE, enlightenment.

My focus went from "out there" and wanting someone to hold my hand in that journey, to "in me" and feeling an inner stabilizing... a gratifying peace.  There was a sudden feeling of freedom.  There is a sense that life will be phenomenal with or without a relationship.  

Will I view things differently tomorrow?  Next week?  I don't know but it seems like something has changed..... I hope permanently...

Today I ran across an offer for free books.  My eyes glanced at, and dismissed, a book titled "Never Give Up on True Love" by Bernice McDonald.  A romance novel?  Not for me.

I swear I felt a little nudge that said "look again."  Maybe it was the Mexican food I had for lunch doing a little rumba,  but I think not....  

The book was NOT a romance novel.  It was a true story written from the heart of a woman who had loved and lost, and continued to lose. It was a story of how, through brokenness, she discovered God's purpose for her in the mess she called life.

I immediately began to read it and have continued to do so throughout the day.  I literally felt a small jolt in my spirit when I read the words that I began this post with.

That's me! That's how I feel today!!!  And I hope it continues to grow and develop into a full fledged outpouring of the authentic me.

This has been what my last two years of praying, hoping, growing, learning,  inner struggle and grasping at the elusive strands of change have been all about;  It's about knowing who I am... really... knowing my purpose and design..... knowing I have a reason to "be".....  to experience freedom.

Could it be that I am finally getting it?!  That I'm finally seeing the truth?  I don't know but for tonight.... just for tonight.... I'm going to believe, just believe that my focus has finally shifted.

I don't think this book could have come at a more perfect time. Does she get a guy in the end?  I dunno know.  You'll have to read it...  Let me close by using one more quote from Bernice.... one that captures my thoughts in a nutshell:

 "I am discovering the incredible magic that comes to your life when you begin to meet your own needs....".          Oh yeah...........

*A big thanks to Kim for being the wonderfully wise woman that asked me the question that enabled things to finally click into place in my spirit, because I sure wasn't grasping it in my head!  Luv ya, friend.....

 I Got Your Back.....

I'm not about leading..... But I am about instigating. I'd rather we walk alongside each other in this life, than one in front of the other. But, if I see that you need a push, I'll get behind you... and I hope you'll do the same for me.  Jamie Wright

I absolutely LOVE this quote!  It's how I see myself.   Me leading?  Pshaw....  But me INSTIGATING??  Now THAT I can do! And giving you a push....?! I'm there! 

I absolutely adore running across amazing bits of wisdom and truth, slapping it on a platter, and serving it up to anyone who will listen and engage.  There is nothing more exhilerating!

This is just me trailing my bread trail of random thoughts here, but when someone says they see me as "A leader", it's like saying I have an inside track on some special information and therefore more qualified to tell someone else what they need to do.  Uh... no.....  But I'll be glad to serve you up a saucer of "life as I see it" a la' mode.

I do see myself as an instigator.  Let me digress here for a moment.... I love the word "instigate" because it means to "urge on".... to "stir up".....  

That's what I love to do... urge others on..... stir up their  imagination, their hunger and thirst for life, for relationships, for God, for change, for.... for more..... more than what we've been led to believe is available to us.  

Most of us have been taught that there is a limit to what we can achieve in this life.  Often those limits are very restricted by our own perceptions.

I have become a "what if" girl and I think I have a friend or two that just cannot grasp that concept.  I see a titch of irritation come in when I stray from fact's to "what if...."  

What can I say?  I'm a dreamer.  I love the quote from the movie Uncle Buck - "I don't think I want to know a six year old who isn't a dreamer, or a sillyheart."  OH YEAH!  That's me!  A sillyheart!

No, I am not six years old on the outside, but I certainly am on the inside.  Ask my friends.... I LOVE silliness!  It comes naturally to me.  You could say it's a gift!  Though some people aren't so sure it's a gift....

Over the last few days I have read over my blog posts from last year.  I have not allowed people to read them. I didn't even read them..... until now.  Ummm.... do I like them?   Not so much.  As I look them over I don't see a trace of that sillyheart.  I see a heart that is very bogged down with trying to figure things out.  

I know I can't always be silly.... and believe me..... often I won't be and you'll be wishing I was! I have a tendency sometimes to try to dig too deep.  Well, grab a shovel and come join me.  It's going to be a bumpy ride! : D

Come As You Are....

"I'm probably gonna go back to the lifestyle I lived before, so I can't go to church.  I don't want to give the things up I know I'd have to, if I do go...."  

These words were said to me this week by someone I care for very much.  She was talking about the choices she would make if she ended her current relationship.

She opened up the door to talk about God, and I simply said "God loves you just as you are.  If and when you're ready,  ask Him to show you who He is."

It just burns my biscuits that so many of us, in our religiousity, put that belief out there- That belief that says "To be a Christian, you have to change."  Often I feel that can drive a wedge between God and so many that are already hurting. I know this because I've experienced it.

Will change come about when one becomes a Christian? Well, sure.... But normally not from us trying to do it ourselves.  When change comes it is the wonder and power of God at work. We just come as we are.

In the video for the song "Come as you are" (see below) there is an amazing quote that says  "Before trying to offer people a helping hand, Jesus listened first for their hurting heart."  Wow.... If we could just take the minutes, hours, days and years to listen to someone's hurting heart instead of trying to "fix them",  what sort of difference could that make in the lives of others?  When it comes to addressing a situation with someone,  I hope it is my heart that speaks the loudest, not my flapping gums.


My point is, I feel I am developing an understanding... an ability to differenciate between "tolerance for sin", and "showing grace/love".  I am not shouting "It's ok to sin.  Do whatever you want."  Instead I am quietly whispering "I love you for you, right where you are."

I know the benefits of this because it is what has been the biggest factor in deepening my trust and love for God.  When I feel that I have to change... that I'm not good enough just as I am.... I resist.  If I don't resist it could be because I feel I have to "obey or else".   Resentment begins to ooze through me and my naughty inner child throws a tantrum like no other, stomping her feet in a petulant snit. It is through practicing radical acceptance of myself and of others, that I find some semblance of contentment.... of peace.  When I'm walking in unacceptance, then I'm cantankerous.

Yeah... I occasionally come to a point where there is no other choice in a relationship but to confront an issue head on.  No, this is not a particularly pleasant task.  For me, the attitude with which someone approaches me is everything.  I try to approach others with the same kindness, tenderness, understanding, concern and care that I would want extended to me.

Unfortunately, sometimes that little angst ridden teenager we all have inside will bust out of the gate and demand someone change to fit our view of what they should be.  I just try to grab that little sucker by the hand and reign her in before she can whip her too uptight self into a frenzy.  Whew!  Anyone got a spanky spoon?!

If I do reach a point in a relationship where I feel comfortable giving unsolicited advice or needing to face an issue, I attempt to choose my words carefully and use great wisdom, attempting to not trample on their feelings. 

I guess what I am saying here is love deep, laugh often, listen always, advise others sparingly....  I saw a quote recently that really spoke to me.  "You cannot change someone but you can be the person they want to change for."  I feel this sums up what I am saying here today.  Accept others for who they are.  It's through that acceptance that true change can often begin to happen.

Yes, sometimes while waiting for the situation to iron itself out, you may need to evaluate and establish boundaries where needed.  I didn't say build a brick wall.... rather place that little low lying fence carefully around the perfectly ordered little yard of your life (HA!) until you feel it's safe to re-open the gate.

And yes... sigh... sometimes it is necessary to place some distance between you and one who cannot seem to come into agreement, to the point where friction is always inevitable.  I hope that if I ever need to do this, it is because I know that is what's best and not because I'm being judgmental and spiteful.

Back to the topic at hand.  When I attempt to change myself because of religious teachings... because of fear of not being good enough... it is usually only my outward behavior that changes.  Inside, I am still pretty much a hot mess.  It is only once I sincerely accept my imperfections, both inward and outward.... only once I began to radically accept myself for who I am right at any given moment, that true change begins.

Now.... let me confess here that while I might radically accept myself today, tomorrow I may again find myself  staring at me in horrified bemusement for some faux pas that I have committed.  Just because I feel I've reached the safe zone of inner love and peace today, doesn't mean that tomorrow I won't be tackled by some incoming missile randomly shot off by life.  But that's what it's all about isn't it?  Peaks, valleys, mountains, ditches, highs, lows....

I am learning to trust God knows who I am inside and out, and He loves me anyway.  It is that kind of acceptance, that kind of love, that encourages a softening process in my heart to the point where He is able to flow in and begin to truly heal the hurt in me.

It is then that I begin to want to change.  It is also then that I begin to open my heart to accept others right where they're at and trust that GOD will do any "fixing" that may need to be done....

Don't Be A Dictator....

One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.... Henry Miller

Dictate:  a guiding or governing principle, requirement, etc.:

For the first time in  a while I have something to blog about. I now realize that I have been in a time of busyness, stress, AND a place of deep resentment.

A family member became ill, in large part we believe, due to her poor lifestyle choices.  It has been left to me to make the medical decisions, run and fetch for her while she has been gone, and to try to juggle the holiday season.

I'm not trying to beat her or myself up here.  It's just that I let life invade and distract me from alone time with God.  I became spiritually dehydrated.  I let things build up inside and a few nights ago I finally admitted to myself the resentment I have begun to feel for the position I am in, and for the person I want to blame.

I immediately internally turned to God and spoke to my... His.... spirit in me.   I poured out how I felt.  I hesitantly told Him that I felt it was was wrong to feel this way, and that I was afraid of His punishment.

Hmmm.... That surprised me. I realized that I hadn't even been able to admit these strong feelings to myself, let alone to God, because I was afraid of All Mighty punishment.

In talking with Him, I used the word "hate".  I allowed myself to express exactly what I was feeling at that moment.   Guess what?  Since then, instead of feeling horrible and like I need to give myself 1,000 lashes with a raw hide whip, I have felt like a weight is lifted.  I seem to have more patience and understanding .

I told God that, at this moment, I couldn't love like I needed to so He would have to do it through me.  I have relaxed and am trusting Him to do it in me.

I realized today that God seems to be orchestrating so many situations that eventually lead me to "take Him out of the box."  In other words, I have a tendency to be a "dictator."  Strict beliefs learned in my past lead me to dictate "this is just how it's done." In other words, I form  rigid rules or principles. This does not allow room for change and  growth.

I tend to look at where I'm at in life and put  restraints on it.  Often I find myself drift toward a treadmill of performance.... If I follow this rule than I'll get that result.  I may feel fear when I don't "follow the rules" well enough.

For example,  there are verses like "Look not only to your own interests but to the interests of others." Phil. 2:4. I have a tendency to dictate this can only be interpreted one way.  That I am to allow myself be brought to the point of exhaustion by trying to fulfill this biblical commandment. 

I then cross over into extreme resentment and anger.  This leads to my feeling fear that God may punish me for not being content to be at someone's selfish beck and call, and for falling into anger.


My biggest downfall is that I may sometimes grab onto what I think is the leading of God and lock it into place in my "spiritual radar."  I may I still find myself ignoring the clanging warning signs from others, but especially from my inner self.... my spirit....   I still may find myself unconsciously resisting what I believe is the gentle tug of God trying to pull me back on course. 

 But even then, He normally  manages to get my attention and guide me back on track.  It just takes a little longer than it probably needed to, but fear not!  None of that time is wasted.  

As a matter of fact, I think I may have learned a lot more in finding my way back then I would have if I had never gotten off course in the first place.  Not that I would choose to take the longer route unless absolutely necessary.... uh huh.... no....  thank....  you!


Sometimes I find myself spiritually squinting at scriptures to get them to give me permission to do what I want to do.  However, when I am truly seeking God, often scriptures will spring to life... they will grab my attention and a leap in my spirit(?).. an.... awareness(?)..... flows in that  seems to be God speaking to me.  

The only way I learn to be more confident in telling the difference between me speaking to me, and God speaking to me, is by stepping out and taking the risk to follow what seems to be God.  

Remember, this is YOUR journey and no one else's.  Embrace it.... taste it.... and live it to the fullest....

I want to remind you that you are unique.... your relationship with God and others is unique.... your life experiences are unique, therefore your journey is unique. 

I and others can share our experiences with you to give you inspiration, hope and company on your journey but please do NOT make the mistake of thinking that you can copy anyone's travels.  You would then be just a carbon copy instead of an original.  

You would be putting your authenticity in a box instead of letting it's colors run and blend wildly into the one of a kind tapestry it was created to be.  Never try to duplicate, or compare yourself to, someone else.  You will always feel that you are never measuring up.  That's because someone else is not who you were created to be.  

You are an original!  Now step out of that confining choking closet of conformity that you have allowed close-mindedness to trap you in, and expand your thinking... your heart.... your spirit..... your soul.... to the reality that ANYTHING is possible.....  Hugs! Sheila

I am Finding Freedom on a Narrow Road....

Matthew 7:13-14  “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.  NIV

Who knew?!  Definitely not me!  I would never imagine that freedom can be found walking on a narrow road.

I used to read this verse from Matthew and feel uneasiness, fear and some anger.  Time and time again I prayed for God to take my free will because it was too scary to think of finding that narrow path on my own.  

I didn't realize at the time that my experiences, even those where I totally crash and burn and almost lose my life are what is needed to help me to recognize the breath taking beauty of that winding little path.  Before, I saw it as constrictive, confining and was miserable when trying to keep within it's ugly little borders.  I envisioned scratchy and heart rending brambles on either side of it, just waiting and hungry to rip you to shreds.

As I look at this picture what comes to mind is a vision of "This is what it means to follow Jesus...."  For some time I have quit trying to figure out what is the "right" choice in situations.  Instead I have begun to ask God "how do I follow you in this situation."  It brings so much freedom because you are no longer leaning on your own understanding to figure out right and wrong.  In many, MANY scenarios there are no right and wrong answers.  

1 Corinthians 10:23-24 says I have the right to do anything but not all things are beneficial.  I like the way the Message bible says it  "Looking at it one way, you could say, “Anything goes. Because of God’s immense generosity and grace, we don’t have to dissect and scrutinize every action to see if it will pass muster.” But the point is not to just get by. We want to live well, but our foremost efforts should be to help others live well.

Before I began to understand God's grace, His love, my walk with Him was stifling, choking, empty, resentful and full of religious sacrifice.  Verses like the one above would throw me into a snit saying "The bible is full of do this and don't do that, and now it throws me for a loop saying that all things are permissible.  What's up with that???!"   This morning some examples came to mind that gave me a whole new understanding of the narrow path and how it works with the "all things are not beneficial" verse.

Look at that picture above again.  As you can see, if you began to stray from the path it looks spectacular.... peaceful.... inviting.....  However, I believe the farther you get from that narrow path, the scenery begins to change... the beauty begins to fade and become tangled.  You and others may experience hurtful circumstances.   

I have realized that this narrow path applies to all things in life.  If you wander off of it with money, with food, with work, with .... well.... you fill in the blanks, you will soon begin to lose your way.  You and others will suffer the natural results of not keeping within healthy guidelines in your life.  Yes, it appears alluring to wander from the path but it DOES bring harm in some form.

This verse is not some legalistic order hatefully handed down by a God who is trying to control us and ruin our fun.  It is a gentle urging whispered into our ear while we are cradled in the arms of a loving father who longs for us to live in the freedom and abundance He offers.

  My point here is that  in all the things the bible has to teach us... if we don't see it through the eyes of God's love and grace....we will wander around off of that narrow path and receive some scratches and bruises. This happens... I believe it is even necessary....  We learn from it.  

When you can get a revelation of His love for you, you KNOW that narrow path is a place of safety, security yet freedom.  Freedom to live from guilt and shame because you know in your heart that you DO want to do the "right" things.

Freedom in that knowledge because you know when you wander from the path, it was not because you are bad but because you just allowed yourself to be distracted by something that looked appealing.  You apologize and go on, asking God to guide your steps back to solid ground.  

Our consequences are not punishment from God, they are simply a result of our poor choices.  We walked the wide road of destruction and as a result, WE became wide! Hahahaha!  Sorry.... I'm a jokester so bear with me.  

Again, just know that you are the apple of God's eye.  He isn't angry with you and He isn't punishing you.  As Luke 13:34 says "Jerusalem, Jerusalem, killer of prophets, abuser of the messengers of God!  How often I’ve longed to gather your children, gather your children like a hen, Her brood safe under her wings but you refused and turned away!" The Message  He WANTS to keep you safe but it is your choice to allow Him to or not.

In case you have not heard this, there are stories about how a mother hen will gather her babies under her when the chicken coop is on fire.  She will continue to shelter them allowing herself to be be burned to death just to keep them safe.  Here is an excerpt from one of those stories "But it was when Grandpa scraped his heavy shoe to move the carcass of a dead hen that a picture of God’s sweet provision broke through.  Nestled under the wings of that charred hen were six little yellow chicks.  Scared, but alive. Their mother had not survived the fire, but they were hidden under her downy wings and did not suffocate or burn."

What an amazing parable of God's love....

So what do you say?  Are you tired of being road kill?  Then ask Him to guide you to His narrow path.  Ask Him to enable you to find the joy, peace and freedom that comes when you walk that road, even when there may be trials and tribulations to journey through.

 I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love.  Romans 8:31-32

And the Walls Came Tumbling Down....

 And so your tradition empties the commandment of God of all its meaning. You hypocrites! Isaiah describes you beautifully when he said: ‘These people draw near to me with their mouth, and honour me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. And in vain they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men’.”  Matthew 14:6-9

This verse sounds harsh, doesn't it?  "But your heart is far from me" came to my mind this morning as I lie there meditating on things.  I had been thinking of how I, and may others,  are doing "works" for God instead of acts of kindness flowing from a heart of faith.  

In this verse,  Jesus was speaking to the scribes and pharisees.  These were people who taught but did not follow their own teachings.  They  flaunted their "good works" before others in order to make themselves look superior.  Some of us may do that, but I feel it is often unintentional.... somehow a legalistic noose has gotten itself around our spiritual necks and convinced us we will perish if we do not "work" hard for God.  However, when we count on our works to make us worthy, then we are no longer walking in faith.

Works and Faith go hand in hand.  If you just have works, then you may do things out of obligation. Maybe what is spurring that obligation is fear... fear if you don't work hard enough for God, you will be punished.  Maybe what is spurring someone on is that their trying to earn brownie points with God.  Maybe what is spurring it IS self righteousnesness - Hmmmph... See how much more holy I am than you because I do all of this?"  

If you just have faith but don't put feet to it, then maybe you don't have love.  In other words, you don't yet have a firm grasp on the heigth, the depth, the awe inspiring wonder of God's boundless love and grace.  

When you know you are loved.... when you are in those first stages of romance.... don't you just gush and ooh and awe and trip over yourself in reciprocating that love.  The whole world and everyone else in it become a lot sweeter.  You WANT to do good.  

I feel that is what happens once you have spent time devoting yourself to coming to know God on an intimate level.  An intimate knowledge of His love for you can't help but bubble up and out of you into a desire to shower that same love on others.  I believe that until you have that foundation.... that foundation of a relationship with God built on His love.... then maybe all you are doing is works.   I don't know.  This is just me ruminating.

I had to stop doing things because I "should" and just devote myself to asking God to open my eyes to His love.... to His heart toward me.  True love is something that you can't fake but we do fake it when we set ourselves to "working for God", instead of tripping over ourselves in an eagerness to spill out His love onto others. 

Doesn't your heart just warm up when someone you don't know gives you a genuine heartfelt smile and not the perfunctionary "works" of a smile.  It makes you feel like they saw something in you, a stranger, that sparked something in them.  Maybe it's that warming of the heart that allows a little bit of hope and faith quietly slide in.


I believe that understanding what true, Godly love is does not just fall easily into our laps.  In my God journey I reached a crossroads.  I was so frustrated.   The burdens of religion had become so heavy to carry that I began to sense I was missing something. That sensing turned into a full blown cry to God.  "I feel like I'm missing something!"   I had a crisis of faith where I started questioning all that I knew.  That crisis has led me to pursuing more of life, love, Jesus, and has given me a taste of God's love that leaves me insatiable for more. 

 Matthew 13:44 “God’s kingdom is like a treasure hidden in a field for years and then accidentally found by a trespasser. The finder is ecstatic—what a find!—and proceeds to sell everything he owns to raise money and buy that field."  To fit my point, here are my words as an interpretation of this verse- "Once you begin to get even a tiny taste, a tiny sliver of revelation about God's love, you will do whatever you can to get a revelation of the whole package." 

Once we begin to get a revelation of God's love then the walls of legalism in our lives come tumbling down. We begin to move, breathe and find our being in love.... GOD's love..... real, true love.... holy love.....  

When the walls start to fall, be aware that it is normal to be confused, skeptical, fearful, doubting, distrusting, etc.  After all, the world you believed in is collapsing.  Yet at the same time, you will most like feel a niggle of delight, awe, wonder and hope down deep.  Can this really be true....?! 

I love the thought,  "True love is... tripping over ourselves in an eagerness to spill out His love onto others." And I want to add "especially when we know that they cannot or will not give anything in return."  

1 Corinthians 13:4-7  Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious, never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude. Love does not demand its own way. It is not irritable or touchy. It does not hold grudges and will hardly even notice when others do it wrong. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out.  If you love someone, you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost. You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him."