I Can See Clearly Now, The Rain is Gone.... Well, for the moment....

“Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace."  Matthew 6:6 The Message Version

I read several chapters in Thesselonians today;  I did not take the time to chew on each word, but instead, read it like a book... reading straight thru.  I heard this suggestion recently by a speaker on Wayne Jacobsen's podcast.  I am a person who has been, for the past several years, only given to reading the Bible in fits and spurts.  It does not hold my attention and I am put off by it because I have been reading it with an eye that seems to latch on to rules, rules, rules and how I am failing.

I have been taking a break from my church and attending another, for the last three weeks.  I've noticed in the past week or so that I am drawn to reading the Bible, this time with an eye to seeing it as a story and an unfolding of God's personality, not as a rule book.

I believe that there is power in the word.  If I read the Bible, for now, as a story, then God's spirit will give it life and breath.  Today while reading, it was almost like I caught a glimpse thru the clouds of something; Of a truth that I have heard preached but was never able to grasp.

It was, for the first time for me, an ability to see what it means to focus on God, instead of on the things of this world.  I have always had a large part of my focus on finding "true love".  The most recent object of my affection has been a guy that seems to truly have a heart for God, but there has always been a..... blurriness (?), a sense of.... confusion.... where he is concerned. 

My point is that my focus is too much on him.  In drawing away from things that are familiar, to give myself time to get past this and maybe hear direction from God, I have been questioning myself so much.  But today... seeing that glimpse of what it might look like to focus on God without the distraction of a guy, was rather appealing.

Hmmmm..... I hope that I continue to get insight as to what it means to have God as my focus and not something or someone else.  Yesterday in church the pastor said "If you give into temptation, if you return to old sins after coming to Christ, what you are doing is taking Christ off the throne and putting that sin on the throne."  In other words, he was saying that we are making that sin an idol.

I have been asking God, over the last year or so, exactly what IS idolatry.  I know it from a head knowledge, and I feel resistance to even considering I might have idols in my life.  However, yesterday it clicked for me.  Finding earthly love with a man could be an idol.... and food.  It's not that these things are not good, but when it becomes something that consumes our thoughts and lives to where we feel frustration, confusion and depression as a result of these things, maybe it's time to ask God to walk thru this with us and show us the way out of the bondage.  That doesn't mean that He will ask us to throw away everything good in our lives like so many "diets" do.  He's just asking us to use wisdom and moderation.

How many of you have fallen in love, only to become someone who is consumed with the thought of that person; consumed to the point where you feel inadequate, frustrated and so NOT at peace?  If our focus is first on God, and we find our value in Him, then we will take soooo much pressure off of ourselves and our guy.  Won't that right there be a foundation for a stronger, healthier relationship?

I've seen women write about how God asked them to take just one year off from dating and how it totally changed them and their relationship with God.  It changed them to the point where they are perfectly content to not have a man in their life.  Someone else said  when you enter into marriage, some of God's grace is removed from your life so that you two can work thru things together.  However, another said she asked God if He would become more distant if she married.  His answer to her was that He would be just as close as she and her husband would allow Him to be.  That is a comforting thought...

Now, I don't know if God is asking me to take a year off of thinking about guys.  If He is, then I must have my fingers in my spiritual ears because I don't hear it... Hahaha!  Fact is, I haven't met anyone that I am interested in dating, except that one guy, and I discovered that he is unavailable.  Maybe I don't need to hear God concerning this dating.... Maybe He, like a loving, concerned parent, is leaning up against that door, temporarily keeping it shoved closed for my protection AND my future guy's protection!

For so many years I have heard that God wants us to reach the point where we crave Him over any other guy, to the point where we don't even feel the WANT for an earthly guy.  I just never could seem to "get it". 

As long as I can remember, there has always been some man that is in my mind and heart.  Remember those teenage day dreams of your latest famous heart throb?! Oh how I loved Elvis Presley.... Rob Lowe.... Matt Dillon.... The Bee Gee's... sigh.... Lately tho, I have felt moments of what it is like to not have a man in my romantic thoughts.  At times, it feels a little empty because I have never had that void.  However, THEN is when I turn my focus to God and allow Him to fill that space.  Then the peace and contentment flow in.  Despite my former doubts, I think I'm gonna like this part of the journey......


"Watch what God does, and then you do it, like children who learn proper behavior from their parents. Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us but to give everything of himself to us. Love like that." Ephesians 5:2 The Message

I don't know about you but, in all relationships, I am tired of getting frustrated and discontent.  It always happens.  Someone is not treating me right; they aren't filling my expectations; they get on my nerves from time to time and THEY need to change.... blah blah BLAH!  I'm tired of being that way.  It's time for a change...  it's time for a shift in focus... a shift in focus from doing things my way and studying God's ways. 

I also have to be careful that my giving does not ultimately stem from a secret desire to get.  As in all things, I cannot do this in myself.  I have been fasting and praying lately, asking God to heal my heart, give me direction, and guide my steps.  I don't give just to make someone notice me, think better of me, etc.  That is not how God gives.  Mostly what He does is love us.  He doesn't love in order to get but give everything of Himself....  I want to learn to love like that... 

"It's not what's happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become.  Rather, it's your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you're going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny." Anthony Robbins


                            
"So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it."  Phillipians 3:15