We All Fall Down

“Your daughter is a child in need of a parent. She needs to be taught. And some of your best teaching opportunities will come when she puts her sin nature on display. Don’t fear or fret or feel like this is some sort of failure on your part. Her outside demonstrations are an internal indication of her need for guidance. So guide her. Love her...” Excerpt from devotional by Lysa Terkeurst at Proverbs 31 Ministries

Lysa was writing about a part of her journey in discovering her identity as a mom.  Her angelic daughter had turned into a little... uh.... not so angel in public.  However, as soon as I read these words I had a totally different thought. 

My thought in reading this was immediately "That is how God see's life with us...."  Hmmm....  We worry so much about "getting it right."  We fret over making a mistake or failing.  Or at least that is the pit that I have lived in for the past 9 years. 

While praying a few years ago, I seemed to sense God was saying "Take a risk..."  What??  That couldn't be God!  Then I started getting little confirmations:  While reading I would run across things about taking a risk, and my counselor even started saying "You need to start making some mistakes; You need to try and fail."  He actually said he would cheer big if I came to him with a story of a HUGE failure!  So I started taking risks, and yes I failed, sometimes BIG!  And yes, usually it hurt, sometimes BIG!  Revelation: I don't enjoy failing!

As I'm typing this, what comes to me is that I don't necessarily need to see those things as failures.  They were learning lessons that gave God the opportunity to teach me.  You see, instead of doing something wrong, I think I was really doing something right.  These failings were not deliberate sin: that's not what I am saying.  In all things I pray before I step out, and I continue praying, asking Him to block my way if it is not of him.  Ummmm...... sometimes I keep on going, even when a door does not appear to be opening in the way that could be indicating that this is God doing it.  However, I am still learning to try to recognize and identify when it is God.  I am learning all thru the process because I continually am asking Him "Where are you in this God?  How do I follow you in this situation? Why is this so hard?  This seems too easy? Give me wisdom, etc."...

Oh Wow!  As I was finishing the paragraph above, this verse came to mind:
Proverbs 3:6 "In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. New King James version

So then I had to look it up in other versions.  I loved The Message Version:

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all.  Message version

I had never really gotten it before.  I knew, logically, what it meant, but I didn't get it with my heart, until just this minute.  I've heard a lot of teaching on how this walk with God is based on trust and that you have to stop trying to figure out things. 

 Hmmm.... so does that mean you just quit thinking altogether?!  I don't know how to do that.  I've also heard "just be obedient", "just do what He tells you to", etc.  I've often mused "Okaaaaay... but what if I'm not hearing Him tell me to do anything, no matter how hard I pray...?"  THAT is where the opening quote from this blog entry comes into play for me.

I can see God saying "Some of My best teaching opportunities will come when Sheila puts her sin nature on display."   

I believe when we step out in faith.... in other words when we take risks..... these are some of his best teaching opportunities.  These are experiences God uses to teach us how to hear from Him.  I have started to learn how to take an internal pause (much like a hunting dog suddenly stopping and being on point!) to try to sense anything down in my spirit.  

In my earlier days, due to uncertainty and fear of doing the wrong thing, I just felt a lot of unease in my spirit about everything, so I really couldn't get a feel for anything.  Now, through experience, I am starting to get a teensy more comfortable with pausing, then moving forward if I don't feel a need to hesitate. Also, if I feel the need to do something just because I "should", I often take more time to ponder over it instead of just jumping right in to do it.


We as Christians often come to believe that it is our duty to fill every need in front of us.... WRONG!  I think that the mere fact that we are Christians who really have a heart for God, who really want to do the right thing, is a great starting point.  

I have stopped, for the most part, doing things because I should.  I, of course, pray over the situation and since I don't normally hear God saying "Yes or No", if I really don't want to do it, I don't.  BUT I usually try to direct them to someone who can, if possible.  Over time, as I am being freed of the shackles of obligation, of thinking I need to fix it all, then I feel that I am able to sense God a little better in what He might want me to do. 

I have heard and agree that  "God's biggest desire is for us to first and foremost to have a relationship with HIM.  THAT is our purpose."  Instead of worrying what God's will is for us, what our purpose is, am I where He wants me be.", just rest assured.... His will, His purpose, the place we should be, is forming a relationship with Him.  

It is out of that relationship with Him, not doing things for Him, that we start to grow.  Once we start to mature in knowing who He is, in sensing what He is putting on our hearts, THEN we will start to see fruit flowing out of our lives.  THEN we will start to see how He is allowing us to come alongside Him and work WITH Him in other's lives.  So let's start waking up each morning with excited anticipation of seeing our bridegroom and asking Him "Show me how you love me today, my beloved.... Show me how to walk in that love...."
                                     


You could fall flat on your face as easily as anyone else. Forget about self-confidence; it’s useless. Cultivate God-confidence. 1 Corinthians 10:12 The Message Version